"Come back. Even as a shadow, even as a dream."Euripides | Tragedian
September 2008
In 2009, mum was diagnosed with primary breast cancer and underwent treatment. Mum decided not to inform anybody of her cancer, including us family. She kept this diagnosis and the subsequent treatments to herself. It seemed she did this to protect us from the harsh realities of life. She never wanted to burden or worry us. Every Monday at 9am she attended the Medical Day Unit for her chemotherapy and radiotherapy treatment. After every treatment session she simply went straight to work. This was typical of our mum; strong, resilient, unfazed. The treatment successfully eradicated the breast cancer from mum.
September 2014
After feeling very unwell, and complaining of severe back ache, mum was admitted to A&E. After spending a week in hospital, we were told the devastating news that mum had cancer and that it had metastasized (spread) to the bones. It was at this point, we found out that mum had breast cancer in 2009. We were told that this time it was terminal. We were all distraught.
December 2014
(My brother, mum and I in London, Dec 2014)
After 2 months of treatment, mum was still left unable to walk without the assistance of a walking stick due to the tumours on her hip, vertebrae and ribs. But my mum did not give up! We decided to book her on a trip to London for New Year’s Eve. We sailed through the Thames on a private boat and watched the fantastic fireworks display from above us. We had such an amazing time!
May 2015
(Mum celebrating her grandson, Zakariyya’s second Birthday)
By this stage, mum had been undergoing almost weekly chemotherapy treatment, and had gained full mobility and was coping with the treatment well. Scans had shown that the tumours had shrunk considerably to the point where they were barely visible.
June 2015
(Mum at my graduation ceremony)
Mum was progressing so well that she was able to gain the strength to watch me graduate from the University of Chester for a Masters in Nutrition and exercise Science. I was so proud and lucky to have her there. She made sure she had her fair share of graduation cake too!
August 2015
(Mum and baby Isaac. Aug 2015)
My youngest sister, Zayneb gives birth to a beautiful young boy, Isaac. Mum was so proud. At this stage, mum was almost living a normal life and was even considering a part time job in a florist. She was doing exceptionally well. We were so proud of her.
September 2015
(Me and mum at Checkpoint Charlie, Berlin. Sep 2015)
Mum had always wanted to see me run a marathon and this dream was realised in September at the Berlin Marathon. I felt so honoured to have her there. It was at this point that she complained of feeling unwell. After further checks, we had discovered that the cancer had not spread, which made us feel so relieved. However, her liver was showing signs of damage.
3rd November 2015
(Mum receiving a paracentesis due to her failing liver)
After being admitted to hospital due to feeing really unwell, we found out that mum had severe liver cirrhosis. Doctors said this was as a result of the toxic chemotherapy. We were told her live was end-stage and the only means of medical intervention was palliative. Our hearts sank.
2nd December 2015
(Celebrating an early Christmas. 1st December 2015)
After 4 weeks of roller coaster emotions, sleepless nights and uncertainty we were told she had 24 hours to live. Words cannot describe our feelings. An unbearable pain engulfed me. I felt trapped and hopeless.
3rd December 2015
With all of us by her side, my hand clutching hers, we watched our mum slowly pass away. Her pain was over. Her suffering was no more. She looked so peaceful.